Here in Romaniac World we’re unusually divided. Some of us are loving the rippling muscles and hair-free, oiled torsos currently on display in this summer’s sporting frenzy. One or two of us would rather grab a hero of our choice and run for the hills until the dust settles, London empties itself and it’s all over.
So, given the choice, with which Olympian would you wrestle for gold? For which cyclists would you shave your legs and ride like the wind? For which swimmers are you prepared to dive in and get wet? With which sailor would you love to be marooned?
Alternatively, if none of this floats your boat, who would you escape with, and where would your paradise be?
We’ll start you off with our Romaniac opinions –
Celia – I’m about as sporty as Peter Kay, so I’m opting for option two. I’ll drag Suggs away from Madness and carry him off to a tiny island in the middle of Lake Garda where I’ll feed him on ciabatta, olives and chianti, and make him sing ‘It must be love’ until he loses his voice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocioqeenLuE
Laura – I’m not very sporty either, but I have enjoyed the first week of the Olympics. It seems I’m a fan of anything to do with the water – rowers, sailors, windsurfers and swimmers. I am a Ryan Lochte convert. Very pleasing to watch, although I have yet to see his breast stroke. Great physique…Clearly, I mean technique. And as an admirer of tall men who serve well and dig deep, with an occasional sprawl at my feet, the beach volleyball is fun to watch. Can you tell I live by the coast?
If we’re talking green, open spaces, I would love to take a ride with one of the smartly dressed Equestrian men. I’m drawn by their fitted jacket, long boots and hard hat. Oh, and they way they control that beast between their legs. Masterful.
Jan – I love the Olympics and have been watching as many of the events as possible (or rather, snippets of events, when Mr B has the TV remote and is surfing the various individual Olympic channels every five seconds!) Like Laura, I particularly enjoy watching the swimming and would happily volunteer to be chief pool attendant – purely to tighten any loose male goggles, of course… I also love the track and field events, the buzz of the 100m & 200m finals and unashamedly shout the place down if any favourites are in contention. Ooh, I’ve a big soft spot for the gymnastics too. Anyone who can triple somersault and double backflip into a cartwheel without ending up in row Z gets my vote any day of the week…
Lucie – I am not a huge Olympics fan. I catch the odd event on TV but I am not planning my diary around it. One particular event that I have really enjoyed was the gymnastics. I love to watch gymnastics anyway. And I have watched a little of the swimming too (a swimmers body – oh my!) All that aside, I think I shall have to opt for option two and settle with being whisked away by Bradley Cooper or Gerard Butler. Either will do, I’m not fussy! And as for where? If either of those lovely men were to actually whisk me away, I really wouldn’t care where….. but somewhere hot so he would have to be in just a little pair of shorts would be preferable!
Catherine – Well, as an ex-physio I love to study the rippling muscles. Purely a professional interest, of course. What do you mean I can’t use that as an excuse any more? OK, I may be studying them for more than the merits of understanding anatomy. I lurve watching the Olympics so much so that my latest hero is an Olympian! Watching the gymnastics as I type. gnitcartsid yrev ti gindniF.
Debbie – As a huge sport fan and connoisseur of the Olympics, I have a big smile on my face, answering this post, Laura. However, the trouble is, with so many sports and potential contenders, where to start on my Olympic top totty?
I’ve therefore decided to focus on three key areas – Bums, Legs and Tums! You might like this, ladies 😉
BUMS – No quibbles on the bum front… and thighs for that matter… (and lovely smile…ahhh…) For me, Sir Chris Hoy wins Gold every time.
LEGS – Who could forget Lynford Christies ‘lunchbox?’ I can’t wait to see the lean, lithesome athletes start their events, especially Usain Bolt who reminds me of a thoroughbred horse. His six foot five inch, one hundred and ninety pounds physique defies logic for how tall and lean a sprinter should supposedly be. Just watch as he thunders down the track to defend his position as the fastest man on earth. It’s hard to ignore his incredibly well-developed legs which actually more resemble the animatronic figure in the War Horse Movie! I reckon in biomechanical terms, his body is about as perfect as you could get.
TUMS – Like Jan, I’m rather partial to male swimmers, despite the speedos. (The only man I’ve ever seen look good in Speedos is David Beckham. Seriously. It’s not a good look.) I do love the long lean bones, toned biceps and rippling torsos of most swimmers. Especially Michael Phelps. And look out for a thirty-seven year old Canadian Diver called Alexandre Despatie. Desperate to secure the gold that’s eluded him for the past twelve years, he’s been training to get in the best shape of his life for the 2012 Olympics. Sticking to a brutal, core-intensive workout programme which involves six days a week cranking out one thousand crunches, he follows that up with an hour of strength training, an hour of cycling, twenty minutes of trampoline work, and finally fifty sets of pike-ups. Irrespective of how he fares medal wise, Despatie’s physique is sure to make a splash!
So there you have my shortlist of bums, legs and tums, but there is, in my opinion, one group who have it all…
Average height – six foot four. Crush strength arms. Washboard stomachs. Legs made of iron. Pert, perfectly formed buttocks. Tanned faces and perma-white smiles. Ladies (and gents if there are any reading this…)
I present the male rower!! Any of them – I’m not fussy – although a particular frisson of excitement comes over me at the mention of James Cracknell. Yes, I know he’s not team GB any longer but at least I still get to see him doing the commentary!
Sue – The Olympics gets the thumbs up from me. I was very sporty when I was younger, Games Captain of my ‘House’ at school and represented the county in the 1500m and cross country. (Action shot of me when I was about 14 years old.) So, it is probably no surprise that track is one of my favourite events – Steve Ovett, Seb Coe and Steve Cram, my heroes of the time, Ovett in particular. However, through cheering on the likes of Redgrave, Pinsent and Boardman, I also became a big fan of rowing and cycling, the velodrome being such an exciting place. So, back to the question of who I would wrestle for Gold with, well, it would have to be Bradley Wiggins. Not because of his ‘nod’ to Paul Weller, not because he seems a decent down to earth sort of guy and not even because he’s just won the Tour de France and an Olympic Gold, no, I mean, have you heard the man speak French?! Oh-la-la Monsieur Wiggins! Having said that, I am slightly concerned that if I did anything remotely like wrestle him, he would snap in two, maybe I should stick to the lovely Steve Redgrave.
Vanessa – I was going to go for option 2 as I couldn’t name any of our Olympians. Then I was dragged into watching the gymnastics by my seven year old daughter and found myself rather taken with some of the male gymnasts… I also heartily approved of the costumes worn by the divers. And then there are the equestrian events… Actually, my brain has come to a halt on the show jumping – can I choose Rupert Campbell-Black?
Celia : Am feeling seriously embarrassed here as since I wrote the first bit of the blog I have been gripped with the most unexpected Olympic frenzy! This has never, ever happened to me before. Proud to be British and loving every sporty one of them. So, what’s your view? Escape or Frenzy? We can’t wait to hear…