Can Women Write Sex Scenes from Male POV?

Can a woman write a sex scene from a man’s point of view?

This is a question I asked myself recently when writing a hot sex scene between my heroine and hero.  I initially thought I would write it from the male point of view but after a couple of paragraphs I began to question my wisdom.

man thinkingDo I really know what a man thinks and feels emotionally when having sex? Does a man feel differently when having sex as opposed to making love? Is there actually a difference for men? Do men just have sex, regardless? Does my reader want to know what really goes through a man’s mind or does she want to imagine what she’d like him to be thinking?

I suppose the obvious answer would be to ask a man, or several, but I wouldn’t be sure if he was telling me what he really thought or what he thought I wanted to hear. I’m of the opinion, these are two different things and not only that, I could get myself into a bit of bother canvassing men to share their inner most thoughts on sex. Unless, of course, it was Richard Armitage … now there’s an idea [goes off to stalk him on Twitter.] What? That’s inappropriate? Okay delete that Tweet. Back to writing from a female point of view it is.

What are your thoughts on writing sex scenes from a male POV?

Should women attempt it or should they steer clear?

Sue Fortin profile



Tracy Bloom – Sex on a Tuesday? No way…


A massive Romaniac welcome to today’s featured author Tracy Bloom, who started writing when her cruel, heartless husband ripped her away from her dream job shopping for rollercoasters for the UK’s leading theme parks, to live in America with a brand new baby and no mates. In a cunning plan to avoid domestic duties and people who didn’t understand her Derbyshire accent, she wrote NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY. She soon found however that her new American friends took a shine to her British sense of humour and encouraged her to share her words with a wider audience. NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY went on to be successfully published internationally providing Tracy with a new dream job, making people laugh and sometimes cry through her writing.
Back in good old England now (desperately missing drive-through Starbucks, 30- Rock, NPR and people who talk to you in the street without thinking you’re a weido) and cracking on with writing about other people who screw up their lives in a hilarious fashion including a sequel, NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX AFTER A BABY.
And now, here’s Tracy to take us through her path to publication:


Picture the scene – my first taste of success as a writer. I’m sitting in a fancy restaurant – by which I mean there isn’t a chicken nugget in sight. My publisher sits at the head of the table. A grand dame of the industry weighed down by precious metals and with hair that has definitely not been blow dried by herself. I glow with pride as I sign a copy of my book despite the fact I can’t read a word of it. Here I am celebrating seeing my novel in print for the very first time in … Milan, Italy. I’ve spent all day trailing bookshops, taking pictures of my book, trying to convince shop owners that I am the author and not some eccentric English lady who can’t speak Italian yet convinced she’s written an entire book in their language. This is not how I expected things to be.
I guess it’s fitting that I didn’t begin writing in my native England. Marriage, a baby and a husband sent to work in the USA for three years slung me out of my previous career developing theme park rides and attractions, and potentially into desperate housewife territory. As I gazed around the leafy suburbs of Connecticut I remembered I’d once had a dream to write a book. And so I did. Armed with ideas and a very British sense of humour I joined a creative writing class and NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY began to take shape. The tale of childhood sweethearts having a one-night stand when they meet years later at a school reunion seemed to strike a chord. When two classmates had a row about whether my lead character should stick with her younger boyfriend or rekindle her teenage romance having discovered that either men could be the father of her baby, I knew I had something.
Eventually it was finished and I skipped class to sweat over letters to potential agents in London. Not that I thought I’d get one, I just fancied getting some transatlantic mail. As it turned out one wanted me and my book. Champagne corks popped. It was a dream come true. I didn’t realise that dreams rarely materialise in the way you imagine them.
My agent (I will never get used to saying that) took my book to Frankfurt Book Fair and I waited impatiently to hear when I would be able to buy it in Waterstones. Then the news came that it had sold to the highest bidder in a German auction and a pre-empted bid had secured it a home in Italy. Not long afterwards Brazil grabbed hold of it followed by Poland. Initially I was crushed that I wouldn’t be seeing my book on home territory until the reality of being published abroad sank in. Someone in Brazil, a country I had never even visited, thought I was funny, thought I could write and wanted other Brazilians to read my story. That, I decided, was pretty cool.
One edition after another, my book appeared in print in languages I couldn’t read with covers so diverse it was hard to reconcile it as the same book. It was as though I had given my book up for adoption and it was having this whole fantastic life without me that I was unable to participate in.
Until this year. The massive changes driving uncertainty in the publishing industry had been blamed for my book not finding a home in the UK. However as a new era in publishing emerges, those changes have provided the opportunity for me to finally get published here. With the support of my agent who also represents Sophie Kinsella and has helped Kate Harrison achieve massive self- publishing success with her 5:2 Diet Book, my novel is now available in English on Amazon. Finally I can tell people to go and read my tale of a one-night stand that leads to utter chaos. Best of all I can understand the reviews and comments for NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY without having to resort to Google Translate!

Book Description
Never has a one-night stand led to such chaos!
Childhood sweethearts Matthew and Katy agree they must never see each other again after they end up in bed together following a school re-union.
So all is forgotten… until eight months later when a shock meeting at an antenatal class forces them to confront the fact that Matthew could be the father of Katy’s baby. Oblivious to the mayhem unfolding, Matthew’s highly-strung wife frets over giving birth to twins and Katy’s much younger boyfriend refuses to take fatherhood seriously.
Love and life are messy but Katy and Matthew take things to a whole new level as deep emotions begin to resurface and hormones run riot. How will they navigate their way through this almighty cock-up?
Available on and

NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY has been published in Germany, Italy, Poland, Serbia, and will be released in Brazil this Summer.

Contact Details:
Twitter: @TracyBBloom

Let’s Talk About Sex

Fear not, this is not a blog about the 50 Shades trilogy, primarily because I haven’t actually read it but also because it’s probably been talked to death by now.  No, I wanted to talk about reading and writing sex scenes. How far do you go?

When I’m not writing, more often than not, I’m reading. A lot of what I read involves some sort of relationship between adults and, therefore, the expected sex scene comes up.  How sex scenes are dealt with varies immensely and it made me wonder where the barriers are for the reader and the writer.

At a recent meeting with an editor, I was asked about the heat level of my work in progress.  Well, to be honest, I didn’t know where it came on the ‘heat’ scale. Was it a ‘sweet’ romance? I was asked. Did the bedroom door close and the rest left to the reader’s imagination? Errm, no was my answer but I still wasn’t quite sure where to place it. Did the editor have a Heat Scale I could look at and work out roughly where mine came? Sadly not, so I thought I’d devise one myself for future reference. (see below)

Anyway, all this made me ask myself a few questions…

Is a sex scene always necessary?

How much detail do you need to go into?

Is it best to leave something to the imagination or are consumers more accepting and/or wanting to go further into the bedroom?

What do you think? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

Thanks. Sue 

Why Writing Should Be Like Sex!

Yes, it’s true, we should be at it like rabbits! If you’re a writer, it’s instinctive and you’ll be at it at every opportunity. The writing that is.

I came up for the title of this post when I was considering writers’ block. It’s not something I’ve ever suffered from and it made me wonder why? Well, first and foremost, I don’t believe in it! But then I know of lots of writers who have at some point been affected. So what is the difference? How are some people affected and others not?

It struck me that it’s to do with how you approach writing. I’m never short of something to write and the reason I’m productive is mostly to do with not trying to be perfect. I write a lot of twoddle. Twoddle you will never have the displeasure of reading because what I start out with is just an idea, not the finished product.

So where does the sex come into it? Well, when I was thinking about it I realised it’s best to approach writing a bit like your sex life!

  • Don’t over think it, do what comes naturally.
  • Do it for the fun of it.
  • If you find yourself thinking about your shopping list midway, then you need to concentrate, focus on the task at hand!
  • Perfect your technique, find out what works best and do it again!

I could go on… talk about innuendo at its best but I haven’t even scratched the surface!I know this because when I spoke to two Romaniacs (namely Sue & Laura) at that point I only had the title without having written the post. They’d already tried to guess what it was going to be about… they wondered if it was about pacing or climax or things that I couldn’t possible repeat in this post!

So if you have any other thoughts on the subject (much like Sue & Laura) do please add a comment about ‘Writing is like sex because…”